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They've worked out a routine that so far has worked for them, and heaven forbid the daughter interpret your understandable desire for family time as an attempt to wedge her mother out of the picture. After all, he's had a routine that used to make everyone happy, and now he needs another plan.
Instead, I would tell him, "I really admire the way you and ____________ have handled your divorce and the way you've raised _______________. Would you be amenable to spending Christmas Eve but not Christmas Day with the ex? The daughter goes to college far away, so she doesn't get a lot of Mom and Dad time.
I am very willing to spend time with the ex for functions dealing with their daughter (graduation, parties in her honor, etc.) but I think that's where the line should be drawn. I completely understand that you want your first Christmas with your boyfriend to be special. You've been with the man 10 months, and you're talking about marriage.
That said, I wouldn't on anything with regard to his ex-wife or his daughter.
If you think they might be a bit unruly, it is better to keep visits to busy locations (eg. Who Be prepared to involve people you know who work in the local area.
We are happy and our relationship is progressing normally; we are able to talk about everything and work through issues with respect and compassion for each other.
We both feel that we are heading towards being married in the future.
Generally it’s better to choose activities that rely on luck or strategy.
Try to avoid activities that require strength, because some people may have trouble.