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So make yours a priority," says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Problem-solving strategies: Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman.But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e.Lorain, a reader of my monthly E-Magazine for stepfamilies, wrote asking how she might strengthen her relationship with her 19, 24, and 26 year-old stepchildren.“I was 49 when I married for the first time; my husband was 55. My husband kept his children up to date about our relationship and things were pretty civil until we married.Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families.

Problem-solving strategies: Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually.

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround.

They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life.

Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, Sherman says you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. Next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more.

Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done.

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