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He was defiantly confident and self-assured in a way that now seems rooted more in overcompensation.

Beyond the physical, Simon was repulsive in other ways.

What led to me filing for divorce had soured me to handsome men, to any man who might resemble a politician. Eighteen years my senior, Simon was tanning-bed tan and bald.

He wore glasses with those transition lenses that took too long to lose their tint, and he always had visible nose hair, which he’d try to tuck back into his nostrils instead of just plucking.

He carried a satchel with him always, refusing to take it off even when sitting down in a restaurant.The first time I noticed the look, Simon and I hadn’t been dating that long.We were in Oxford, MS celebrating his birthday, and I watched the same exact look pass over the faces of the hotel clerk, the bookstore cashier, and the server at an upscale restaurant on the town square.My husband, unlike all the men I’d dated before him, was handsome.In the early days of us dating, he’d often catch me looking at him.

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